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  • #1

    Getting to know the Vampires

    I have been browsing the forums and went to an outdated location for an SF meet a while back in the hopes to get to know some Vampires. Your motorcycle club embodies everything I love about riding. I ride and collect motorcycles of all makes, styles and models. I am infected with the need to ride, one day will be on board my Ducati or Beemer, another cruising my Harley. I have run across many Vampires up and down the coast and finally thought it would be fun to be considered a member. I am always looking for riding partners, the core values are the same as mine and well, the name rocks. Who might I talk to about this? I can't always make the scheduled meetings due to my own schedule but would be a proud Vampire, with many ways to give back to our motorcycling community.

    Sincerely reaching out,
    Dragon
    Tags: None
  • #2
    You must first search your soul and find the truth in these questions:

    Am I a total fucking asshole?

    When confronted with the question "hey man, do you have the time", is my first reaction one of violence?

    Do I have a total disregard for public safety?

    If I am put into contact with the police, do I act as if I have no idea what the problem could possibly be; even though I was just doing a smokey burnout to honor my club mate who just stacked his motorcycle into a group of elementary school kids while trying to do stoppie?


    No srls, fuck those kids, right?


    Do people hate me, for good reason?


    If trapped on a deserted island, is my first instinct is to kill all the other ship wrecked people so that the limited supply of coconuts remains securely in my posession?


    Puppies and kitties, good?


    Are hookers really not just for breakfast anymore?


    Have I ever depreciated non taxable items brought forth in the previous tax year?


    If I see a sign that says "no smoking", do I suddenly have the urge to take up smoking?


    Do I know what the German word for "the pleasure derived from the misery of others" is?


    Does that guys motorcycle suck?


    No srls, fuck that guy, right?
    Last edited by the_grinch; 09-22-2010, 01:59 PM.
    "We want to be free. We want to be free to do what we want to do. We want to be free to ride. And we want to be free to ride our machines without getting hassled by The Man. And we want to get loaded."

    "I can't promise you sticking your dick in a diamondback's mouth and zapping it with a cattle prod *will* get your pecker bitten, but I can promise you it's a BAD FUCKING IDEA" -Rotten

    "Guns, stolen motorcycles, and dead hookers tend to attract a lot of attention"

    Comment

    • #3
      the Grinch is president of the local Glee Club.
      "Through the course of my life, I've spent most of my money on motorcycles, drinking, drugs and chasing wild women. The rest of the money I just wasted."

      I am the chosen one, the mighty hand of vengeance...
      ... sent down to strike the unroadworthy!


      sigpic

      Comment

      • #4
        Originally posted by the_grinch View Post

        If I am put into contact with the police, do I act as if I have no idea what the problem could possibly be; even though I was just doing a smokey burnout to honor my club mate who just stacked his motorcycle into a group of elementary school kids while trying to do stoppie?
        Seriously - Fuck those kids.

        Dude, I love you.
        sigpic

        Originally posted by epim
        Vampires MC. We ride motorcycles. We ride motorcycles fast. We're a family. We know where to hide the bodies.
        The_grinch: "Yes, I love colic and rectal thermometry."

        Comment

        • #5
          Originally posted by the_grinch View Post
          Are hookers really not just for breakfast anymore?
          ...
          Attached Files

          "Far be it from me to question your stupid civilization or its dumb customs."—Philip J. Fry

          Comment

          • #6
            It's really hard to not fill out that questionnaire. The answers just seem so obvious.

            And seriously, fuck those kids. I don't know what their goddamn problem was.
            "I love Satan and speedmetal" - Dylan

            Comment

            • #7
              Fat kids are harder to kidnap.
              Cashing Satan's checks with my dick in my hand.
              Sometimes you gotta fuck a guy up and sometimes you gotta drink some chocolate milk.





              Comment

              • #8
                those fat kids fit in those blacked out vans too, just not as many of them.
                sigpic

                Originally posted by epim
                Vampires MC. We ride motorcycles. We ride motorcycles fast. We're a family. We know where to hide the bodies.
                The_grinch: "Yes, I love colic and rectal thermometry."

                Comment

                • #9
                  That's pretty smart of your buddy to do a stoppie right in front of a bunch of elementary kids, they probably broke his fall and helped him avoid serious injury. Very good form. As for the rest of the questionnaire, the answers do seem quite obvious. Schadenfreude,by the way, please, give me a real one here.

                  Second, don't overlook the value of fat kids. They can self sustain much longer in isolation without food. That will lengthen your negotiating period.

                  As for Vampires, I hope to join your SC Vampires ride November 7th. I will look for more details or should I scan the obituaries for clues?

                  Ride well, ride very well...
                  Dragon

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    It's not our fault. Those hookers were alive when we buried them I swear.
                    "Through the course of my life, I've spent most of my money on motorcycles, drinking, drugs and chasing wild women. The rest of the money I just wasted."

                    I am the chosen one, the mighty hand of vengeance...
                    ... sent down to strike the unroadworthy!


                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      What are you doing with LIVE hookers Loni? Shouldn't Jon have them... and you get them post-mortem? other way around? I'm mistaken...
                      sigpic

                      Originally posted by epim
                      Vampires MC. We ride motorcycles. We ride motorcycles fast. We're a family. We know where to hide the bodies.
                      The_grinch: "Yes, I love colic and rectal thermometry."

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        No Sam, you're right. I'm the one that makes dead hookers. Rotten is the one who makes dead hooker stuff.

                        Look for such items as:

                        Dead hooker slippers-lounge around the house in style and comfort, with dead hooker slippers. Our Native American craftsmen use traditional Hopi techniques to hand craft every pair of dead hooker slippers. Years of smoking crack and being beaten with belts have turned our exclusive hooker hide into a tough yet supple material perfect for encasing your feet in comfort that will last.

                        Choose between Chocolate with black fur lining, tan with yellow lining, or white with red lining.

                        Your feet will feel like $25!



                        After a long day at work, treat yourself to a muscle vacation with our exclusive dead hooker massaging wand.

                        We search the streets of Oakland, East Palo Alto, and even Richmond to find only the perfect materials for our massagers. For strength and reach, we use the femur, to it we attach the vibrating coils of pagers and cell phones (the recycling of electronic waste is one of our "green" endevours), then a leather cover complete with thousands of self lubricating bumps.

                        Every time you use the dead hooker messaging wand, it's like you are being taken to a secluded dark parking lot, where you can relax and let the troubles of the world leave your mind.



                        Got the friends over for the big game? Show them that Martha Stewart isn't the only one who can host a party with style with our new condiment caddy.

                        Perfect for guacamole, salsa, onion dip or ranch dressing our newest item brings the party to the party. It has four serving areas, one 50 oz, one 20 oz, and two 10 oz.

                        Last Cinco de Mayo we used it for a sweet tequila caddy, the 50 oz section we filled with ice, the 20 oz section held the limes, one 10 oz section for salt and the other holds a shot glass perfectly!

                        Get you party on like you're Charlie Sheen after a movie premiere!







                        Dead Hooker Products Inc.
                        For the lady killer in you!
                        Last edited by the_grinch; 09-29-2010, 12:39 AM.
                        "We want to be free. We want to be free to do what we want to do. We want to be free to ride. And we want to be free to ride our machines without getting hassled by The Man. And we want to get loaded."

                        "I can't promise you sticking your dick in a diamondback's mouth and zapping it with a cattle prod *will* get your pecker bitten, but I can promise you it's a BAD FUCKING IDEA" -Rotten

                        "Guns, stolen motorcycles, and dead hookers tend to attract a lot of attention"

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          oh. my. wow.
                          sigpic

                          Originally posted by epim
                          Vampires MC. We ride motorcycles. We ride motorcycles fast. We're a family. We know where to hide the bodies.
                          The_grinch: "Yes, I love colic and rectal thermometry."

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Please take grinch's internet phone away -- the Rant-O-Meter is about to self-destruct from overuse.

                            Thanks,

                            -The Management
                            Last edited by SatanCruz; 09-29-2010, 03:19 PM.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              P.S. NYHC would appreciate it if charitable donations were made in his name to local Christian organizations of your choice. What better way to see the best humanitarian side that our chapter has to offer?
                              "Through the course of my life, I've spent most of my money on motorcycles, drinking, drugs and chasing wild women. The rest of the money I just wasted."

                              I am the chosen one, the mighty hand of vengeance...
                              ... sent down to strike the unroadworthy!


                              sigpic

                              Comment

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