How to enjoy Burning Man from the comfort of you home

[SatanCruz]

Simple ways to enjoy the Burn straight from your hometown. Without further introduction:

Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.



Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.
Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for five hours.

Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.

Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

Pay an escort of your affectional preference subset to not bathe for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig, dance close naked, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the night.

And apparently, the return of hippies from Burning Man usually equates to an increase in STD's in SF (as if it wasn't full of 'em already). More snarky commentary here: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...violetblue.DTL

Cuddles!

[antipathy]

DIDJA HEAR THAT FGTS??? More STDs for JOOO!

[bunnyhoonuit]

"Now what do we do?" Ha ha.

Whole story found here:
http://www.mercurynews.com/celebriti...nclick_check=1

SAN FRANCISCO—Burning Man became Burnt Man four days early, and a San Francisco performance artist was arrested on suspicion of igniting the signature figure of the counterculture festival in the remote Nevada desert.
The early morning fire on Tuesday scorched about 85 percent of the structure, Burning Man spokeswoman Andie Grace said. Event engineers decided it would be best to dismantle it and rebuild a less elaborate version, accomplishing in two days what normally takes weeks so the figure would be finished in time for Saturday night's scheduled burning, she said.
The approximately 40-foot-tall wood-and-neon structure was supposed to go up in flames in the ceremonial climax of the weeklong annual event.

Many festival-goers who were awake watching Tuesday's lunar eclipse said they saw a man deliberately ignite the figure at about 3 a.m., Grace said.
"It was in plain sight of many people," she said. "Everyone is looking at it this morning, this big black figure in the sky and that wasn't supposed to burn, saying, 'Now what do we do?'"

Paul Addis, 35, of San Francisco, was booked into the Pershing County, Nev., jail on suspicion of arson, illegal possession of fireworks, destruction of property and resisting a public officer, according to the sheriff's department. He posted a $25,632 bond, a sheriff's dispatcher said.

[elfboy]

Heh.
If you go to BM just to watch one art piece burn and feel the event is ruined over this. You're missing the point.

This was not some random yahoo btw, he's been attending for many a year (considered a loose cannon etc...) and his bail was posted by the person who up until '03 was one of the senior builders of the man.

[antipathy]

Any good stories to share from vampires and friends who attended this year?

[Rotten]

Vampires attend? you can't be serious! We can just go to the mall to watch the freak show.

Eventually a pack of nekkid' bikers will roll though.