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  • the Wave

    This is a classic that's been around for over a decade but some of you younguns my not have ever seen it.



    To Wave or Not to Wave
    By Shalom Auslander

    I love motorcycles, and I love riding. Like many of you what first drew me to bikes was not just the experience of riding, but the feeling that I'd become part of a special community - a brotherhood, really. Nothing calms me more than a long ride down the interstate, waving to the members of my beloved clan. Except when I pass Harley guys. I hate Harley guys. Hate, hate, hate. When they pass me on the highway, you know what I do? I don't wave. With their little tassel handlebars and the studded luggage and the half helmets - God, they drive me crazy.

    You know who else I hate? BMW guys. Oh, do I hate those guys. I don't wave at them either. They think they're so great, sitting all upright, with their 180 degree German engines. God, I hate them. They're almost as bad as those old bastards on their touring motorcycles. You know what I call those bikes? "Two wheeled couches!" Get it? Because they're so big. They drive around like they have got all day. Appreciate the scenery somewhere else, Grandpa, and while your at it, I'm not waving to you.

    Ducati guys - I don't wave at them either. Why they don't spend a little more money on their bikes? "You can have it in any color as long as it is red." Aren't you cool! Like they even know what a Desmo-whatever engine is, anyway. Try finding the battery, you Italian-wannabe racers! I never, ever wave at those guys.

    Suzuki guys aren't much better, which is why I never wave at them, either. They always have those stupid helmets sitting on the top of their stupid heads, and God forbid they should ever wear any safety gear. They make me so mad. Sometimes they'll speed by and look over
    at me and you know what I do? I don't wave I just keep going. Please, don't get me started on Kawasaki guys. Ninjas? What are you, twelve years old? Team Green my ass. I never wave at Kawasaki guys.

    I ride a Honda, and I'll only wave at Honda guys, but even then, I'll never wave at a guy in full leathers. Never, never, never. Yeah like you're going to get your knee down on the New York Thruway. Nice crotch, by the way. Guys in full leathers will never get a wave from
    me, and by the way, neither will the guys in two piece leathers. And I'll tell you who else I'm not waving at - those guys with the helmets with loud paint jobs. Four pounds of paint on a two pound helmet - like I'm going to wave back at that! I'll also never wave at someone with a mirrored visor. Or helmet stickers. Or racing gloves. Or hiking boots.

    To me, motorcycling is like a family, a close knit brotherhood of people who ride Hondas, wear jeans and a leather jacket (not Vanson) with regular gloves and a solid color helmet with a clear visor, no stickers, no racing gloves and regular boots (not Timberlands). And isn't that what really makes riding so special.
    "Through the course of my life, I've spent most of my money on motorcycles, drinking, drugs and chasing wild women. The rest of the money I just wasted."

    I am the chosen one, the mighty hand of vengeance...
    ... sent down to strike the unroadworthy!



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  • #2
    Adapted from the Bill Cosby racism sketch?
    "We want to be free. We want to be free to do what we want to do. We want to be free to ride. And we want to be free to ride our machines without getting hassled by The Man. And we want to get loaded."

    "I can't promise you sticking your dick in a diamondback's mouth and zapping it with a cattle prod *will* get your pecker bitten, but I can promise you it's a BAD FUCKING IDEA" -Rotten

    "Guns, stolen motorcycles, and dead hookers tend to attract a lot of attention"

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    • #3
      Whatever it was adapted from, that was awesome. I had not seen that before. :-) LOL!!!
      sigpic

      Originally posted by epim
      Vampires MC. We ride motorcycles. We ride motorcycles fast. We're a family. We know where to hide the bodies.
      The_grinch: "Yes, I love colic and rectal thermometry."

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