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  • Chewed up and spat out.

    I Had a bit of an adventure on a company sponsored whitewater rafting trip yesterday. We were pulling through a Class IV rapid when a coworker was dislodged and slammed into me kicking me out of the raft. The last thing he saw of me for a little while was my foot disappearing underwater.

    I was sucked under and drug along the bottom of the river slamming into rocks like a meaty pinball. The river kicked me up just long enough to get some air and show me what was in store next: A huge fucking boulder. Sucked back under and slammed into the boulder wile-e-coyote style. I was peeled off and banged around a bit more before I surfaced long enough to swim to a nearby raft.

    My ribs were banged up pretty bad, and I felt like one of my lungs wasnt cooperating. Oh, and my glasses were long gone.

    We went down the river a couple more miles until there was a place where we could pull over and get me out. They sent a guide ahead to try to find a bus to come pick me up, so I hiked after her figuring we'd just meet in the middle. I start walking up the dirt road and my camelbak is empty within the first 50 feet. It's 105 out. Balls.

    A 3.5 mile hike uphill in the canyon later and I reached the staging point for the 'take out' buses just as one was leaving to come get me. I think I was looking pretty sorry at that point: Hunched over, gasping, blinking owlishly trying to make out anything around me, and feet rubbed raw and bleeding from hiking up that trail.

    From there I made it back to my bike, where a coworker loaned me a pair of glasses that were almost, but not quite, entirely not my prescription. They were enough to get me home, but I was blind as hell.

    Unfortunately I took the R1 that morning, so the ride home was pretty uncomfortable. Since I couldn't see too well I managed to hit every damn pothole out on 80, 99, 4, 5, 205, 580, 680, mission blvd, 880, and 17.
    I made it home on the R1, put some contacts in, jumped on the fz6 and rode to dominican to get checked out.

    As the fz6 was warming up I responded to a SMS Sarah had sent me earlier in the day mentioning that I was going to the ER to get checked out for some busted ribs. I barely get checked in and the fucking Calvary rolls in the rescue:



    Jon rode my FZ home for me and Seric gave me a lift. Sarah kept me sane.

    Thanks all of you, I fucking love this club.

    Oh, and no broken ribs. Bunch of soft tissue damage and it looks like one of my lungs got pinched and partially collapsed for a little while. That explains the difficulty breathing. Only thing to do now is take ibuprofin and suck it up.
    Last edited by epim; 08-29-2009, 12:27 PM.
    "I love Satan and speedmetal" - Dylan

  • #2
    glad you did not die
    being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. that is why god made fast motorcycles.

    makin love dont make it love.
    -johnny paycheck

    888

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    • #3
      You guys showed up to sit around the ER with him and help out afterward? Fucking bad ass. Seriously bad ass.
      Ride More. Bitch Less.

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      • #4
        I hope you heal quickly.

        On the bright side, you can look forward to being a legend among your cow orkers from this adventure.
        "Mathematics are the result of mysterious powers which no one understands, and which the unconscious recognition of beauty must play an important part. Out of an infinity of designs a mathematician chooses one pattern for beauty's sake and pulls it down to earth."

        Marston Morse

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        • #5
          Originally posted by lugnut View Post
          I hope you heal quickly.

          On the bright side, you can look forward to being a legend among your cow orkers from this adventure.

          Or a pathetic joke they tell at every Christmas party
          "We want to be free. We want to be free to do what we want to do. We want to be free to ride. And we want to be free to ride our machines without getting hassled by The Man. And we want to get loaded."

          "I can't promise you sticking your dick in a diamondback's mouth and zapping it with a cattle prod *will* get your pecker bitten, but I can promise you it's a BAD FUCKING IDEA" -Rotten

          "Guns, stolen motorcycles, and dead hookers tend to attract a lot of attention"

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          • #6
            Originally posted by the_grinch View Post
            Or a pathetic joke they tell at every Christmas party

            score 1 for jon
            being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. that is why god made fast motorcycles.

            makin love dont make it love.
            -johnny paycheck

            888

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by the_grinch View Post
              Or a pathetic joke they tell at every Christmas party
              I'll just remind them that they come from a country that smells like my septic system when it backs up.
              "I love Satan and speedmetal" - Dylan

              Comment


              • #8
                May we have the name/address of the co-worker who dislodged you from the boat please?
                Cashing Satan's checks with my dick in my hand.
                Sometimes you gotta fuck a guy up and sometimes you gotta drink some chocolate milk.





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                • #9
                  Yeah, stop being selfish and tell us his name
                  "We want to be free. We want to be free to do what we want to do. We want to be free to ride. And we want to be free to ride our machines without getting hassled by The Man. And we want to get loaded."

                  "I can't promise you sticking your dick in a diamondback's mouth and zapping it with a cattle prod *will* get your pecker bitten, but I can promise you it's a BAD FUCKING IDEA" -Rotten

                  "Guns, stolen motorcycles, and dead hookers tend to attract a lot of attention"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ah, I appreciate the offer guys but it was an honest mistake. He feels pretty bad.
                    "I love Satan and speedmetal" - Dylan

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You are truely blessed with a great extended family....

                      Some of us are wingin' it solo through this thing called Life.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        This is why I don't hang out with loser cow-orkers.
                        Can you fly, bobby?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ILOAD2 View Post
                          You are truely blessed with a great extended family....

                          Some of us are wingin' it solo through this thing called Life.


                          Oh, I wouldn't quite call it a blessing.

                          He has to pay for our friendship by suffering a constant barrage of insults, mean spirited practical jokes, and psychological torture.
                          "We want to be free. We want to be free to do what we want to do. We want to be free to ride. And we want to be free to ride our machines without getting hassled by The Man. And we want to get loaded."

                          "I can't promise you sticking your dick in a diamondback's mouth and zapping it with a cattle prod *will* get your pecker bitten, but I can promise you it's a BAD FUCKING IDEA" -Rotten

                          "Guns, stolen motorcycles, and dead hookers tend to attract a lot of attention"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Glad you made it out OK, James, you big tough guy. Wouldn't recommend riding without glasses again - it's scary!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Damn dude....I'm glad your ok. I've had my fair share of whitewater experiances....shits no joke.

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